I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
