she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
