why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i think my cat just said my name.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
All the doctor said was why
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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