Don't you send me to vm
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
