Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Randomize
