I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
