At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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