I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Fuck appropriateness.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
