nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
