jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
