So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I need a burrito and a hug.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
