i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
