next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
