Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
