Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
