More tranny stories later!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
