Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
