ADVERTISEMENT

• (818): View more from California

  Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off

  Fav 8 3530 885

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  we need a boat to join in

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva

  Fav 3 1512 814

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.

  Fav 44 1695 3216

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.

  Fav 9 799 3741

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.

  Fav 42 12056 1484

  share tweet
  

• (250): View more from British Columbia

  If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.

  Fav 39 12225 1744

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (785): View more from Kansas

  says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl

  Fav 3 2336 1144

  share tweet
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.

  Fav 4 1919 802

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels

  Fav 4 2136 904

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  im still drunk. birthday week begins.

  Fav 2 1587 755

  share tweet
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?

  Fav 9 945 1070

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (939): View more from Puerto Rico

  After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep

  Fav 3 894 636

  share tweet
  

• (845): View more from New York

  He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done

  Fav 10 432 971

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air

  Fav 0 483 269

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (613): View more from Ontario

  Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked

  Fav 0 259 467

  share tweet
  

Randomize