Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."

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(415): No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love." http://tfl.nu/xky8

Replies (91) Good night (4548) Bad night (1256)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I can feel you judging me through the phone.

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(703): I can feel you judging me through the phone. http://tfl.nu/i7dh

Replies (14) Good night (1270) Bad night (3464)
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(432): View more from Texas

ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...

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(432): ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today... http://tfl.nu/2fwj

Replies (11) Good night (2357) Bad night (1015)
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(847): View more from Illinois

A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college

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(847): A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college http://tfl.nu/uf6j

Replies (37) Good night (5382) Bad night (605)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one

(609): View more from New Jersey

ravioli

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(609): So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up (1-609): i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one (609): ravioli http://tfl.nu/eoaw

Replies (38) Good night (5054) Bad night (2701)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.

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(814): Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today. http://tfl.nu/lhgy

Replies (8) Good night (4572) Bad night (869)
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(913): View more from Kansas

high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?

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(913): high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life? http://tfl.nu/lv3r

Replies (10) Good night (3681) Bad night (949)
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(519): View more from Ontario

so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.

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(519): so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious. http://tfl.nu/hyyw

Replies (26) Good night (4064) Bad night (1239)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"

(575): View more from New Mexico

Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.

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(575): I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here" (575): Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life. http://tfl.nu/q6db

Replies (9) Good night (2259) Bad night (756)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best

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(204): when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this? (1-204): ....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best http://tfl.nu/o3b5

Replies (7) Good night (2285) Bad night (598)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.

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(613): Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out. http://tfl.nu/2zfm

Replies (4) Good night (1016) Bad night (430)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.

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(573): Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex. http://tfl.nu/smrh

Replies (13) Good night (1681) Bad night (654)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.

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(804): Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare. http://tfl.nu/gxnn

Replies (5) Good night (867) Bad night (373)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"

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(757): Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos" http://tfl.nu/ucb4

Replies (6) Good night (882) Bad night (289)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.

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(570): Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning. http://tfl.nu/uqvk

Replies (3) Good night (307) Bad night (553)

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