ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in