Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.

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  (703): He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations. http://tfl.nu/6vv2
  Replies (32) Good night (801) Bad night (4003)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.

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  (706): I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night. http://tfl.nu/vtqv
  Replies (26) Good night (914) Bad night (3862)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.

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  (606): how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked. http://tfl.nu/j1kr
  Replies (20) Good night (1153) Bad night (4737)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"

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  (336): He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth" http://tfl.nu/505h
  Replies (11) Good night (3642) Bad night (2107)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?

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  (850): my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom? http://tfl.nu/5x0x
  Replies (48) Good night (6301) Bad night (1713)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!

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  (913): I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?! http://tfl.nu/fugu
  Replies (67) Good night (1903) Bad night (4550)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.

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  (302): just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach. http://tfl.nu/5cxr
  Replies (3) Good night (2758) Bad night (743)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess

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  (506): Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess http://tfl.nu/9ahd
  Replies (29) Good night (3276) Bad night (1017)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.

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  (541): he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'. http://tfl.nu/j3su
  Replies (11) Good night (3682) Bad night (1483)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it

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  (504): The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it http://tfl.nu/4bhh
  Replies (14) Good night (4269) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.

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  (951): Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails. http://tfl.nu/29ec
  Replies (13) Good night (2154) Bad night (603)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea

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  (727): Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea http://tfl.nu/mom5
  Replies (2) Good night (1066) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it

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  (641): She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it http://tfl.nu/mwwo
  Replies (7) Good night (1007) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.

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  (773): Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass. http://tfl.nu/m2gp
  Replies (6) Good night (1350) Bad night (537)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.

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  (405): Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice. http://tfl.nu/9rvd
  Replies (4) Good night (1232) Bad night (409)

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