the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
