quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?