My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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