he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
