READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
