he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
