too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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