just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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