There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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