Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize