once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
