ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
