your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
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