i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
