you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm like, not good at living.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
