it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
