I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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