I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
