Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
