I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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