Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
