If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
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