I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
