I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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