Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
