marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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