turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
