i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
