Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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