She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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