ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
