Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
