I cockslap morals
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
