I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
