I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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