I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
