i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
All the doctor said was why
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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