A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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