the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You're like the curious george of whores
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
