I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
