Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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